Dreams! We all have them! From the simple joy that comes from being happy in your life to the grand dreams of career success, mega millions, and other material or worldly goals, all dreams are valid and necessary. They serve a purpose for us as humans living our lives. They give life some meaning, some value, and some direction. They offer the potential of a map to help guide the way. They aren’t the only reason we’re here, but they give us a reason to show up everyday and that in itself is enough.
But boy do we argue with those dreams! We have such an emotional attachment to those outcomes that it messes with us when we try to move forward. It messes with our connection to the dream and how we see it. It messes with our focus. It messes with our ability to allow ourselves to go after the dreams that we want. Our emotional attachment to what we want creates a level of dysfunction that we simply don’t acknowledge or understand. This is where focus matters because we have the ability to understand it, we just have to take the time to do it. We have to put the effort into it and most people just don’t do that work.
Safety is perceptual.
You can feel fear sitting on your couch watching a horror movie. Does that mean your home isn't safe? No. What it means is that your sense of safety is not circumstantial, it's perceptual. It's based on your thoughts or feelings in any given moment.
What about the idea of making other people feel safe?
You've probably heard the idea that all experience is neutral.
Did you know that all experience is also equal?
We think of life experience in a spectrum. There are degrees to experience, with some experiences being bigger or more profound than others. Generally we see the traumatic things that happen as being some of the bigger or more profound experiences that we've had.
“Actions speak louder than words.”
Have you ever noticed incongruity between a person’s actions and words? They say one thing and do the other or vice versa? That’s pain. That’s what pain can look like in a lot of people. Maybe you know somebody who talks about everything they are going to do, but they actually do none of it. That’s pain. Maybe you know somebody who does things either without saying anything or they tell you about it after? That’s pain. Maybe you know somebody whose actions and words never match. That’s pain. In relationships, have you ever heard “I love you” one day and then the next day they break up with you? That’s pain too.
I just had somebody come to my door wanting to talk about the bible. I’m assuming he was from one of the many religions that goes out and tries to convert people. Here’s why I’m sharing this with you.
I grew up Roman Catholic and I dropped that religion almost 30 years ago now. It didn’t offer me a way forward. It didn’t offer me a way to heal myself It didn’t offer hope. It offered fear that I screw up and end up in hell; that I would be punished for simply being human and doing the best that I could do at the time.
When I dropped religion, I didn’t really touch it for almost 20 years. I didn’t consider picking up a new religion. I didn’t really think about what my religion had offered me or what I was looking for in terms of religion. I still believed in God. I still believed in a higher power. I still believed that I had a soul or spirit within me. I still had some fundamental ideas that stayed with me, but a lot of the religious fear I had been taught was dropped.